How Jonathan Slayed the AlligatorShare — Monday, September 14, 2009 at 11:04am

Best story ever. So on our way home from Rock the Universe in Orlando, Florida, Jonathan and I had the hardest time staying awake during the drive. It had been a long day, Orlando is 2.5 hours from our home, and it was midnight when we left… so yeah, we were pretty exhausted. We were about 45 minutes away from lovely Fort Myers, and simply praying to God that He allow us to remain awake just one more minute, and then one more minute, when all of a sudden we catch glimpse of something in the road ahead. I was prying my eyelids open with pliers, and Jonathan had the air on full blast and was playing smooth jazz – which he informed me would help keep him awake because of its complicated melodies. After miles of empty black pavement, it was startling to spot something ahead, inevitably doomed to one-on-one time with my car. Yeah, it was a alligator. Not a log, or piece of tire, or deer (for you Northeners)… but an alligator that was minimum 6 feet long… I say minimum because we could only see half of his body (the half that was 6 feet long), and the other half was in the bushes ten feet from the road… he was a monster! How dare he try and keep us from the blessed sleep we so desperately craved, that waited a mere 45 minutes away in our bed? I wish I could have seen the look in Jonathan’s eye. We both knew impact was inevitable, cause clearly swerving poses a potential risk to our safety lol. All I know is I felt the car accelerate as Jonathan gleefully achieved a longtime dream: killing something fully capable of killing him right back. If he would have had his wish, we would have stopped, pulled out the gator’s jawbone, and bagged up his flesh for a barbecue. But no, sleep outranked that dream. We couldn’t believe it. It was of those iconic moments in your life. WHAM. and that alligator was toast.